1. Take that shit to those desperate twats at Michaels.
  2. Jo-Ann Fabrics knows what the fuck it is, and what it is is no one's business but ours.
  3. Oh, you can ask whatever questions you want, but all you're getting back is ABSOLUTELY GODDAMNED NOTHING.
  4. Try us. We fuckin' dare you.
  5. What's your return policy? I have 10 square feet of burlap I've been using as a masturbatory aid but I need something scratcher.
    Suggested by @sswyryt
  6. @sswyryt You can return that shit attitude straight to hell.
  7. Do you guys offer backorders and/or rain checks?
    Suggested by @bdot
  8. @bdot Under no fucking circumstances.
  9. Do you think you might offer backorders and/or rain checks in the future?
    Suggested by @bdot
  10. @bdot See above and kindly get fucked.
  11. 🖕🏻
    Suggested by @sky
  12. @sky Right back at ya
  13. Who can I complain to about the music you play in your store?
    Suggested by @cgcarey
  14. @cgcarey None of your fucking concern.
  15. Would you reconsider offering "How To Fuck Good With Magic Dave" again? Or maybe "How To Masturbate Without Blinding Yourself" with Magic Dave's Third Cousin Gaylord?
    Suggested by @lynn0826
  16. @lynn0826 Unfortunately, due to Magic Dave's recent run-in with the law, he's no longer allowed within 300 feet of anywhere done craft goods are sold.
  17. Are you hiring?
    Suggested by @jrizzle426
  18. @jrizzle426 Only at our new Guantanamo Bay location. Just because people are detained against their will doesn't mean they should be deprived of yarn and sequins.
  19. Do you support fair trade organic fabrics?
    Suggested by @sammyjo79
  20. @sammyjo79 Eat shit, you granola-fucking tie-dyeatrist.