THINGS I HAVE SAID TO MY DOG
His name is Dude. He's really neurotic. Think: if Woody Allen was a dog.
- •"Dude, you cannot bark and think that you can get what you want."
- •"Awwwww little wiener bear dog monkey fox!"
- •"Are you an angel?"
- •"Or are you Bill Nye living as a dog?"
- •"Dude, this is a dramatization. You're a dolphin in the ocean. Go."
- •"Lana Del Dude!!!!"
- •A question Dude has asked me: "Am I a pretty girl?"
- •GUEST STAR: my best friends pug, Leo. "What was it like when you lived in outer space? You're a space slug, right?"
- •"Dude, tell us the meaning of life."
- •Incoherent cooing: "guguguguguguguguggg goooochagoochagoochagoooo"