THINGS I HAVE SAID TO MY DOG

His name is Dude. He's really neurotic. Think: if Woody Allen was a dog.
  1. "Dude, you cannot bark and think that you can get what you want."
  2. "Awwwww little wiener bear dog monkey fox!"
  3. "Are you an angel?"
  4. "Or are you Bill Nye living as a dog?"
  5. "Dude, this is a dramatization. You're a dolphin in the ocean. Go."
  6. "Lana Del Dude!!!!"
  7. A question Dude has asked me: "Am I a pretty girl?"
  8. GUEST STAR: my best friends pug, Leo. "What was it like when you lived in outer space? You're a space slug, right?"
  9. "Dude, tell us the meaning of life."
  10. Incoherent cooing: "guguguguguguguguggg goooochagoochagoochagoooo"