MY SOUTHERN AUNT'S BEST IDIOMS

I spent the first eight years of my life being raised in the American South. I lost the accent but kept the good-natured hospitality. My southern aunt visits occasionally and these are the most amazing things she says.
  1. "I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."
  2. "Babygirl, your apartment is so small you gotta open the door to change your mind."
  3. "That boy is so far behind he thinks he's in first place."
  4. "Bless your heart."
    Translation: You're so fucking stupid.