1. Free wifi
    With every website blocked.
  2. Unlimited coffee
    The cheapest legal grade they could find.
  3. Stability
    Like Enron. Or the Hindenburg.
  4. Dental benefits
    With only 90% copay
  5. Comfy chairs
    A nice place to get fat
  6. It's warm inside
    So warm that you want to claw your skin off.
  7. Nobody murders you usually
    This is actually a pretty good benefit.