STAGES OF A 12 YEAR OLD'S PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE HUNGER STRIKE

For when your little bro is hangry and won't eat his damn fries
  1. Wake up. Be 12 years old
  2. Decide today's the day to defy parents
  3. State party platform: 'I despise the beach! I loathe it!'
  4. Refuse to take your retainers off as impetus to hunger fast
  5. Refuse to get in the car to the beach
  6. Cry
  7. Refuse pretzels
  8. Sit in car, silent tears streaming down your face
  9. Exit car immediately upon arrival and ponder the beach by yourself
  10. Join your family after 20 minutes at restaurant table
  11. Regard fries
  12. Repeat party line: 'I despise the beach! I loathe it!
  13. Watch family talk about how great fries are. Stare off into distance
  14. Consider eating fries
  15. Throw fries at brother
  16. Regard parents with contempt. 'You know I despise the beach'
  17. Takes off retainers
  18. Throws retainers on ground
  19. Gums hurt. Repeat this fact so to prove prior reasoning
  20. Regard the fries
  21. Reach to the table!!!
  22. Reaches towards fries!!!
  23. ....grabs a toothpick
  24. ATE A FRY!!!
  25. 'That was disgusting'
  26. 'These fries aren't even that good'
  27. 'Now that I ate that fry, I'm more hungry'
  28. Proceeds to nibble at another fry
  29. Eats 5 more fries
  30. Eats all the fries. Laughs joyously