10 Things I've Stolen

Things I've taken that weren't really mine to have.
  1. 1.
    A roll of Life Savers from a supermarket when I was around 8
    The flavors were cherry, lemon, orange, and guilt.
  2. 2.
    A tape dispenser from a previous job
    They "job eliminated" a dozen people that day, including me. I felt justified "office supply-eliminating" them.
  3. 3.
    Extra plastic bags from the supermarket
    I have a number of cats, so we can definitely call this recycling.
  4. 4.
    My kids' French fries
    Not technically illegal. It's in the "Dad's Official Rights & Privileges" handbook.
  5. 5.
    Things I placed in the lower part of my cart at Target that I forgot to put on the conveyor belt when I checked out
    Not intentional, but did I give them back? Ummmm...
  6. 6.
    The blanket
  7. 7.
    Malted milk balls at Whole Foods
    Every once in a while, my wife and I would just dispense a couple and eat them inconspicuously.
  8. 8.
    Extra Splenda packets from various coffee houses
    Given what they charge me for coffee, I don't feel too bad about this.
  9. 9.
    Hotel amenities
    Never a towel, but plenty of unopened shampoo bottles, conditioners, moisturizers, and shoe sponges I took on my way out.
  10. 10.
    My parents' time
    I yammered a lot as a kid.