9 Lies to Explain My Hand Surgery and the Flaws in Each

Please relist and share my pain.
  1. 1.
    I had a benign cyst removed from my hand today, but it's wrapped up in a way that makes it seem much worse. Cyst removal is a gross and boring explanation for my conspicuous new look, so maybe I should go with...
  2. 2.
    Freak Puppetry Accident
    The funny thing is that I was actually involved in a puppet video this week for work and posted this picture. When people saw that yesterday and my hand post today, many thought the two had to be related.
  3. 3.
    Motorcycle Mishap
    If you know me, you know this scenario is as likely as a freak puppetry accident.
  4. 4.
    Feverish Texting
    If I was 15, maybe.
  5. 5.
    Got a little too much into my new hobby: The men's high bar
    Like this would fit in my basement.
  6. 6.
    Lassoing Accident Playing Pokémon Go
    Reveals how little I know about both lassoing and Pokémon Go.
  7. 7.
    All Those Push Ups
    Complete lack of corroborating evidence that I do push ups.
  8. 8.
    It Happenned in a Fist Fight
    I'm too much of a pacifist.
  9. 9.
    Slam Dunk Accident
    I'm more likely to get hurt playing Horse.
  10. 10.
    Uhhh.. this.