MOMENTS WHEN I INEXPLICABLY DID NOT TURN OFF LARS VON TRIER'S NYMPHOMANIAC

  1. When she cried via her vagina at her dad's deathbed
  2. When she had a fever, shakes and other withdrawal symptoms from not orgasming
  3. When her vagina was permanently scarred from masturbating
  4. When her interlocutor defended the movie by saying no one would judge a man for all of her actions, which included leaving her toddler without a babysitter whole she went to an S&M session
  5. When I had to go to the netflix menu and start volume 2