ALL THE 1989 VERSIONS OF TAYLOR SWIFT, RANKED BY HOW WELL THEY WOULD DO IN THE HUNGER GAMES

  1. Wildest Dreams Taylor
    A true damsel in distress if there ever was one. She's so pretty and innocent and she nails the Capitol interviews leading up to the Games, but she dies in the bloodbath on the very first day because she is actually extremely uncoordinated.
  2. Style Taylor
    Honestly has no idea what she's doing in the games, and is kinda vaguely pissed off about life in general. She makes it past the first day by wandering off into the woods by herself. She dies two days later of starvation and a broken heart, having never even encountered any of the other tributes. She's totally ok with this.
  3. Shake It Off Taylor
    She just has so much energy and is super athletic. She's the one that kills Wildest Dreams Taylor. She chooses to be kind of a loner because she thinks she doesn't need anyone's help, though, and this proves to be her downfall. She is eventually cornered by Blank Space Taylor and Bad Blood Taylor, but then she's devoured by killer poisonous squirrels before the other two can finish her off. It's really gruesome. Shake It Off Taylor is actually the main reason the movie adaptation is rated R.
  4. Blank Space Taylor
    She puts on an innocent, helpless act much like Wildest Dreams Taylor, and gains a lot of popularity in the Capitol. But she's actually super conniving and ready to straight up murder her competitors when the time comes. She actually makes it pretty far. Her downfall? She tries to ally herself with Bad Blood Taylor in the hopes of eventually betraying her, but Bad Blood Taylor sees right through that shit and decapitates her on day 6 at sunrise.
  5. Bad Blood Taylor
    She doesn't say a single word the entire Games, and she gives the audience the finger any time she finds a hidden camera, which is surprisingly a lot. She teams up with Blank Space Taylor to use her as bait to trap Shake It Off Taylor, and then cuts Blank Space loose when she's served her purpose. She also is somehow packing AK-47s when everyone else is working with knives and arrows, and it's like, never discussed. She is truly a force of nature. But even she can't compete with...
  6. Out of the Woods Taylor
    An actual force of nature. She calmly does yoga in a field for like a week while everyone else kills each other, and then when it's just her and Bad Blood left, Bad Blood tries her best, but Out of the Woods easily disarms her with some roots. She points some icicles at BB and BB's like DO IT but OOTW is like I CAN'T and lets BB live OUT OF RESPECT, uses her nature-controlling powers to completely annihilate the arena, take over the Capitol, and restore balance to the nation.