CASTING CHOICES FOR THE INEVITABLE LIFETIME ORIGINAL BIOPIC ABOUT MY LIFE

Trying to stay ahead of the game here. Ages may need to be adjusted. My real life family is basically split between really white people and really tan people.
  1. Jake Johnson
    Me
  2. "We Bought a Zoo" era Matt Damon
    My dad
  3. Sally Field
    My mahm
  4. Jake Gyllenhaal
    My oldest brother
  5. "Far and Away" era Nicole Kidman
    My oldest sister @aliaegan
  6. Rita Ora
    My second oldest sister @katiemurphy
  7. "True Detective" era Matthew Mcconaughey
    My second oldest brother
  8. Olivia Cooke
    My lil sister @marymurphy
  9. Kendall Jenner
    My lil'est sister
  10. This dog
    My dog Buddy
  11. Simon the psycho cat from "American Dad"
    My sister's effing cat
  12. The lion from "Jumanji"
    My old cat Leo
  13. The "Bad Blood" music video cast
    My extended family of cousins. They're all ridiculously good looking and model-y, it's weird.
  14. Sir Ian McKellen
    My granddad
  15. Meryl Streep
    Herself
  16. The girl from "Pretty Little Liars"
    Herself. The only big celebrity I have ever seen in real life. This will be a huge plot point in the movie.
  17. The crowd from "Gladiator"
    The crowd of people that I fell down a fence in front of when I tried to chase a ball during a high school soccer game
  18. Buckbeak
    That freaking black swan that attacked me when I was a child when ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS PET IT AND FEED IT BREAD CRUMBS