FIRST FIVE THINGS I'D DO IF I WOKE UP IN TILDA SWINTON'S BODY

@brynelle I'm assuming this means that I am actually Tilda Swinton, and we're not doing a polyjuice potion scenario here.
  1. 1.
    Run my hand slowly through my hair for about an hour and a half.
  2. 2.
    Scratch my back using the Oscar that I won for Michael Clayton.
  3. 3.
    Do some truly inhuman yoga poses because I feel like I would be capable of doing that.
  4. 4.
    Watch my children perform classic Shakespeare on their hand carved Globe Theatre replica in the back yard while drinking copious amounts of Earl Grey tea.
  5. 5.
    Leave my home in Scotland to go and check on Joe Murphy's body in Georgia, because obviously we've switched bodies and the real Tilda is probably freaking the fuck out about being in the body of a skinny 22 year old man-boy but also she's probably thinking in the back of her mind about how she can make this into her next art piece and I'm curious.