HOW I WOULD DIE IN THE HUNGER GAMES

  1. I'd fall off the podium before the buzzer went off because I looked over the edge
  2. I would get stuck up in a tree that my asshole competitors would then cut down
  3. I would try to rationally explain how we shouldn't play these dystopian gladiator games and the rich hot kids would spear me
  4. A monkey would eat my face off while I slept
  5. I would trip on a root
  6. I would try to eat a root
  7. I would try to use a root as a weapon against the rich hot kids
  8. The Gamemaker people would have me struck by lightening because I'm not hot enough for tv
  9. I would try to make a trap but then get caught in said trap