THE SPEECH I'D GIVE TO A 5TH GRADER ABOUT TO COMPETE AGAINST 8TH GRADERS IN THE STATE SPELLING BEE

  1. Alright Becky
  2. This is it
  3. There's nothing I can say to you that you haven't already heard a thousand times
  4. When you get out there on that stage, I don't want you thinking about how all those kids are older and taller and richer than you
  5. Or about how the judges are probably bribed
  6. Your dad didn't tragically die in that freak factory accident for you to live in fear
  7. No, I want you to go out there and close your eyes and do what you do best
  8. It's been such an honor to be your tutor these past few months. Even though I am an overworked and underpaid English teacher with a cynical view on life who is recently divorced but now has the courage to start putting herself out there again because of you.
  9. You've come so far and even if you come in dead last, I could not be more proud of you
  10. Alright they're saying it's time
  11. Go get 'em champ
  12. .
  13. .
  14. .
  15. And if Jeffrey Fitzpatrick from Lakeview Prep asks if you know how to spell "twerp" again backstage, you just say "yeah, do you know how to spell this?" and then you flip him the bird, just like we practiced.
  16. You're gonna do great.