The Ultimate, Brutal Ranking of the Cheaper by the Dozen Kids

If you can't handle this heat then get the hell out of the fire.
  1. 12.
    Henry
    Practically a background character, threw up in the kitchen, terrible choice in hats
  2. 11.
    Kim
    The quieter, lamer girl twin
  3. 10.
    Mike
    The kid you babysit that you consider murdering
  4. 9.
    Nora
    Lame oldest sibling, not really a part of the squad, lame that she dated Hank, gets better when she gets super pregnant
  5. 8.
    Kyle
    Interchangeable with Nigel
  6. 7.
    Nigel
    Interchangeable with Kyle, has a cooler name
  7. 6.
    Jessica
    The more outspoken girl twin, stands up for Kim, great one liners
  8. 5.
    Mark
    Kind of the realest, but also, like, chill Mark
  9. 4.
    Lorraine
    Lorraine's kinda lame, but I think there's an actual law that you can't put Hillary Duff in the bottom half of a ranking list, regardless of subject matter
  10. 3.
    Charlie
    Goes with the flow, is a 32 year old high school senior
  11. 2.
    Jake
    Goes with the flow and can shredddd on the blades and boards
  12. 1.
    Sarah
    Badass, mastermind behind the greatest prank in film history, a.k.a. soaking Ashton Kutcher's underwear in a bucket of meat. You have a dark gift Sarah Baker.