Things That Have Never Been Better

  1. My pathetic sense of style
    Now includes cardigans and brown shoes.
  2. My hair if I'm being truly honest
    I recently made the brave step to ask for a 1 1/2 on the sides while still keeping the top long and haven't looked back since.
  3. My bank account
    I used to not have money and now I have money and I'm planning on staying single and having no dependents for life HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhHha.
  4. My driving skills
    Guess who's got two thumbs and doesn't say a Hail Mary before merging into traffic anymore?
  5. My taste in music
    Before you ask, yes, I get all of my musical taste exclusively from Game of Thrones trailers and the Spotify Discover playlist. Still counts.
  6. My comfort with being alone and independent
    Gone are the days when I freaked out and thought I was gonna die whenever I got separated from my mom at Walmart. New year new Joe.
  7. Bob's Burgers
    There's only been two episodes in season 6 so far, but they've been some of the funniest in the entire show. Everyone should go check them out. Tina pretends an eraser is a cell phone for a day.
  8. Sike just kidding about my style, I peaked in '97