Updating the "Love Is Patient" Verse for 2017

Happy V Day everyone.
  1. Love is patient
    When you try to explain the plot of Westworld.
  2. Love is kind
    When your tweet doesn't go viral like you dreamed it would.
  3. It does not envy
    Except when it sees Instagram pics of one of its college classmates going on a seemingly never-ending, world-encompassing vacation that DEFINITELY includes elephants.
  4. It does not boast
    Because marathoning all 5 seasons of "Call the Midwife" in 2 days is not something to boast about.
  5. It is not proud
    Because pride implies dignity, and it's last shred of dignity was ripped from it after that 3rd season of "Call the Midwife."
  6. It does not dishonor others
    Instead, it laughs thinking about how the word "dishonor" reminds it of Mushu in Mulan. Then it cries because it's childhood is over and it's not completely on board with the whole Frozen-started-the-second-Disney-Renaissance trend.
  7. It is not self-seeking
    Okay.
  8. It is not easily angered
    Even when you don't respond to texts but then tweet like 6 times.
  9. It keeps no record of wrongs
    It deletes those screenshots for YOU.
  10. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
    After extensively verifying that that truth isn't fake news.
  11. It always protects
    Kate McKinnon and the kids from "Stranger Things."
  12. Always trusts
    Any Atlanta sports team to trip at the finish line.
  13. Always hopes
    That we don't all die in the next 4 years.
  14. Always perseveres
    Even when li.st rolls out an update that makes your phone actually catch on fire whenever you try to publish a gif list.