WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (HARRY POTTER EDITION)
I love this beautiful series as much as the next human being, but if poking holes in the Harry Potter universe was an Olympic sport, I'd beat the Russians and take home gold 10/10 times.
- •Sorcerer's Stone - The teachers all get together to create a series of obstacles in the chambers beneath the castle in order to protect the stone.Why would you do that? You know what would work better? A wall. Just a solid wall. No doors. In fact, just keep the stone in your pocket Dumbledore.
- •Sorcerer's Stone - Snape's obstacle in the aforementioned series of obstacles is a line of potions, with a riddle saying which was the right one to take to move on, and which were poison.Why would you do that? Just make them all poison.
- •Sorcerer's Stone - Dumbledore gives about 200 extra points to Gryffindor at the end-of-term feast, allowing them to win the house cup.Why would you do that? It was clear favoritism. You are unnecessarily antagonizing Slytherin. If there were any good hearted people in Slytherin before, you can bet your ass there aren't now.
- •Chamber of Secrets - Lucius Malfoy gives Ginny Voldemort's old diary in the bookstore.Why would you do that? Voldemort gave that to you specifically to protect. Ginny's father is in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department at the ministry. You didn't even know you were going to meet them in the bookstore, did you just throw it in her cauldron on a whim? Do you always carry it around with you in case some opportunity to mentally scar an adolescent girl arises? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
- •Chamber of Secrets - Hermione picks a random hair off some girl's robes to use in a potion and assumes it's the hair of that girl, and not a cat.Why would you do that? HUMAN HAIR AND CAT HAIR DO NOT LOOK OR FEEL THE SAME. LOW MOMENT FOR HERMIONE.
- •Chamber of Secrets - Dumbledore cancels all examsWhy would you do that? I get that you were really in the school spirit and probably a little tipsy, but you are still the head of an EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION.
- •Prisoner of Azkaban - The government gives Hermione a Time Turner to get to classes on time.Why would you do that? I get that Hermione is smart and responsible for her age, but trusting the very fabric of time to any person, let alone a 13 year old, is just unethical.
- •Prisoner of Azkaban - Dumbledore locks the doors to the hospital wing right after Harry and Hermione travel back in time.Why would you do that? I have never once understood why it was so important that they had to make it back before he locked the doors. It's like, just don't lock the doors.
- •Goblet of Fire - Barty Crouch Jr. puts Harry's name into the goblet as part of an elaborate plan to transport him to a graveyard at a specific time.Why would you do that? Dude. It would be so much easier. To just wait a year. And then throw the portkey at Harry. On the day that he needs to be transported.
- •Goblet of Fire - Everyone insists that Harry compete in every task.Why would you do that? Just have him sit out and come in last place in all of them. I could literally solve every problem in this book in 30 seconds.
- •Order of the Phoenix - Hermione makes everyone in their illegal club write their names on a list and then pins that list up on the wall.Why would you do that? I'm sorry Hermione but you are getting dragged in this list.
- •Half Blood Prince - Dumbledore tasks Harry and only Harry with getting the horcrux memory from Slughorn.Why would you do that? The boy is 16 and not good at subtlety. Surely there are better ways.
- •Half Blood Prince - Harry points his wand at Ron and says some random spell that he found handwritten in a book.WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? GOOD THING IT WASN'T THE OTHER ONE HARRY. GAWD.
- •Deathly Hallows - The gang decides to take turns wearing the locket horcrux around their necks.Why would you do that? Surely there are easier ways to keep it safe. The negative energy from the locket is probably the number 1 reason for the worst Harry/Ron fight in the series.
- •Deathly Hallows - Harry names his child Albus Severus.Why would you do that?