Stories an Old Housemate Would Tell About Himself

Apparently all these things happened to this guy I once lived with. In the couple of years we lived together, I only every saw him smoke bongs and work in a cafe.
  1. He was a big time drug dealer back in the day
  2. He pretty much has several university degrees obtained for free, he simply attended classes on an al a carte basis
  3. He was the only person in his high school that could slam dunk (he is of average height and white)
  4. He was the first person to go bungee jumping in South Africa
  5. He is a black belt at Tai Chi (Is that even a thing?)
  6. He had a Don Draper-level successful career in advertising (pretty sure he was selling pay-tv door to door)
  7. His ex-girlfriend was a high profile Olympian
  8. He toured Australia playing guitar for a band that's about to be signed to Sony, with topless Swedish groupies
  9. I wish I could remember more...there were so many more