Why I Had a Shitty Xmas, or, Why Did I Have a Shitty Xmas?

Bummer list alert. Is everyone out there really having the greatest holidays ever? That's what social media seems to be telling me. I kind of feel like shit, not totally sure why though
  1. Is it because I had too high expectations of my family? I don't think so, I wasn't expecting all that much.
  2. Is it because everyone's social media posts seem to be all happy families having two days of togetherness and fun and it reminds me of my weird broken family and shit I've never had? Maybe.
  3. Is it because my step-dad has terminal cancer? Seems plausible.
  4. Is it because my partner is working straight through the holidays? Possibly.
  5. Is it because I moved interstate this year and feelings of isolation are hard to ignore right now? Could be.
  6. Is it the pressure I'm feeling to prepare for a placement at Berkeley in April and although I need to take a break a strong desire to panic comes over me at regular intervals? That might have something to do with it.
  7. Oh well, maybe I'll just pin all my hopes onto NYE for which I have no plans...