Let's talk about breasts, Baby...

Reasons you were blessed to be B-cup and under and things to consider before you alter those puppies
  1. The underwire is uncomfortable all on it's itty -bitty- it's when the underwire snaps down the middle and scalpels into ur midboob that's the fucker.
  2. Sleep comes only with four or more pillows all strategically placed to mold around your boobies- while supporting your neck. Architects have nothing on us boobacious ladies
  3. So you want a pretty design on your bra? Sure just pick up some hefty overtime or sell your firstborn for what they charge you for some fucking flowers sprinkled here and there.
  4. ALWAYS expect one of you meals to start food drive down there. ALWAYS.
  5. While we're on always— Always use big word around dudes cause they see boobs and relate it to a low IQ. Which -suck it glen coco, cause I rejected the Ivy.
  6. You're jogging will never be cutsie like the movies. Nope it's more like you are Rocky Balboa dodging Apollo Creed. Not to mention you feel like they hammer you into the floor every time they come bouncing down again
  7. Getting fit for beach season is not as stressful and time consuming as finding swimwear- because seriously ur built in flotation devices do not cooperate and are temperamental