A Young Adult's Guide to a Scandalous Divorce (in a Series of Symbolic Events)
Right after I graduated from college my parents split up. It wasn't amicable but it was shocking & ultimately a growing experience. Here are some things that happened before and after.
- •Childhood Pet DeathMy first dog and first best friend Bagel (a stunningly handsome beagle with velvet ears) died in my arms. He had been sick for a while. We for some reason could not get ahold of my dad who was away on business. I consider it a bookmark.
- •RevealingSecret sentiments, mistresses, mr.'s, siblings and more announced over the course of a handful of days. I sat with my sister on our childhood couch and laughed out of nervousness with an unspoken understanding that we would protect ourselves from what we'd do and feel if we didn't.
- •ShockFucking shocked.
- •BlameMy mother.
- •Social ExileLifelong family friends suddenly vanish. Shocking! Yet there doesn't seem to be a market trip or coffee run where I don't run into them. They pretend not to see me & force a brief conversation when I say hi & speak to me as if I have leprosy (dishonesty in a marriage is obvi. contagious). OR people who don't know me well talk about themselves indirectly after asking how I am (as if I have a terminal & un-spreadable illness). Eyebrows cocked upwards to emote. Then I start to stay in a lot.
- •Strange ReliefSo I wasn't crazy... After all these years.
- •Childhood Home SoldThat's about all there is to say about that.
- •Seeking laughterMe and @hate_my_selfie always knew how to laugh. Now we knew why we were so good at it. We got extra good at it.
- •Bob DylanWake up in the middle of the night and realize that the man who wrote the song I'm named after and who I've idolized my entire adolescence would have been a full NIGHTMARE to date.
- •BlameMy father... How'd that take so long?
- •Realize Parents are Their Own PeopleAnd I am not them. And then forget and remind myself. Over and over.
- •Newfound Respect & UnderstandingOf and for my mother. And a whole new relationship to boot. And eventually the same with my father.
- •GladnessEveryone's happier. We're better people. We're more honest. We're trying. We're separate. We love each other. I'm grateful for the people in my life who care. (and stopped seeking the attention of the rest). I'm grateful for my sister and for LOLing.
- •Waiting for the other shoe to dropThe situation unfurls in stages and there are weird in between waiting times where actually all you can do is laugh and wait for the other shoe to drop. For us it looked like me falling out of a hammock and @johannasamuels reenacting it over and over and overSuggested by @hate_my_selfie