Unreasonable Thoughts I Had This Week That I Felt Bad for Having

Sometimes I'm not nice. (I know how easily the tables can turn and I wish everyone a rainbow).
  1. You sneezed, it surprised me and it pisses me off?
    It's just a lack of control on my part.
  2. White Chocolate is for pussies?
    Still ate it. And whatever floats your boat.
  3. You're a giant tourist family, you're excited by the bright lights, you're hogging the subway pole and you shouldn't be allowed on my train?
    I'm aware that any other city besides NYC and I'm the tourist. It's not my train.
  4. You smell like tuna? And you don't know that I smell you.
    Like... I love tuna. It was probably me.
  5. That ambulance is too loud?
    I'm the devil 😕