Skills/talents I Wish I Had

  1. Reading without falling asleep
  2. Removing my own ingrown toenails at home.
  3. Playing astonishingly well on hotel pianos
    "Are you *sure* you're going to have to ask me to stop?"
  4. Knowing who wants to sleep with me if only I would give it a little time and attention
    "She was not into me. She was mean to me all night."
  5. No nonsense, completely economical patterns of speech while on business calls
  6. Zen like frugality and commitment to one set wardrobe, creating an iconic, lasting appeal
  7. Being instantly engaging and effusive with other people's children, without talking down to them
  8. The power to instantly create full font sets out of vintage typography that I see.
    The one and only instance of magical thinking on the list
  9. The ability to correctly choose between "photo library" and "take photo or video" on my iPhone.
  10. Knowing what exactly "1000 feet" feels like when listening to google give me driving directions.
  11. Being able to just drop it.