Uncle John's Rules for the Road

  1. When you set off on the road, you are doing so with an allotment of energy that you cannot refill until you return home. You can only hope to recycle energy, but cannot create new energy while traveling. Spend wisely.
  2. Hand wash the stuff you care about.
  3. Travel with almond butter. It helps to spread it on the hotel room apples. Remember, put the stomach to bed and the body will sleep.
  4. Routine is your friend with benefits. Sign up early and stick to the plan.
  5. Pajamas. Candles. A blanket that's yours.
  6. Blackout shades.
  7. Get a Mophie battery charger. Use it to charge your phone in bed, as power outlets are usually never near them.
  8. Call housekeeping and ask to have your room made up. Don't depend on them to walk the halls and scan for do not disturb signs.
  9. Dress warm and cozy for sound checks.
  10. Some rooms just don't sound good. You never had a chance. Don't take it personally.
  11. Use a hair product that won't sting your eyes when you sweat.
  12. Eat at least an hour before showtime, and go to the bathroom as many times as you care to before a show. It is important to take the stage at your body's tare weight. This actually helps to prevent performance anxiety, as an empty stomach is a peaceful one.
    A lot of stomach adages!
  13. For those driving on the road:
  14. UNCLE JOHNS MAIN RULE:
  15. However long your first leg of a road trip is before your first stop will be the general unit of distance for each clip. Stop after 45 minute, stop every 45 minutes. Rip off a monster 4 hour ride on your first clip, you're a doggie.
  16. That's road doggie.
  17. When checking out of a hotel room, always assume you've left something and dead bolt the door before closing it when leaving. This allows quick and easy passage back into the room should you realize you've forgotten something.
  18. If you think you've forgotten something, look again. You probably have.
  19. Give yourself at least one week to adjust from the road when you come home. Your feelings are clinical and unavoidable. It will go away.
  20. Beware of the eye fatigue that comes with nightfall. Take a break and remember it's not your road doggie stamina being called into question, it's a physical eye thing.
    It also helps to dim your lighted dashboard display as low as it can go.
  21. Thank the local crew on your way out to the bus.