Star Wars: Episode 3 Blows

I'm trying to watch the Star Wars movies leading up to this week's big event, but I can't keep documenting how horrible Episode 3 is. Episode 1: Star Wars: Episode 1 Is Horrible & Episode 2: Star Wars: Episode 2 Sucks
  1. Ugh... I can't believe I'm doing this third movie. I hated this one most. Anyway. What in the hell convoluted shit did they come up with in his intro. Scraping "buzz droids" off a ship? Remember how episode 4 started? So simple. So easy. This... Is all filler.
    I think the whole movie's going to be filler.
  2. "Hit the buzz droid's center eye, R2."
    Ugh. You need a stupidly specific, complicated solution when you build a stupidly specific, complicated situation.
  3. I don't even understand what is going on here. There's a full-blown war going on, but two Jedi are sneaking onto a ship to be campy and playful? People are dying outside, right?
  4. "My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count." - Anakin, pointing out powers can be measured because miticlorians, or something dumb?
    Stop it. Stop doing this. "The force is strong with this one." is plenty good. "Doubled..." How dumb.
  5. Oh, the Emperor wants them to hurry once he's rescued because... Time has been such a concern so far.
  6. I'm 23 minutes into this movie, and I should be 8 minutes in. 8 minutes movie, 15 minutes filler. Bad ratio.
    (I'm already grumpy. So grumpy.)
  7. The chancellor was saved... BUT ISN'T THERE STILL A WAR GOING ON ABOVE!?! Meh. Who cares. Maybe they all retreated?
  8. Ah, good. More Jedi sitting in a circle, talking. Fascinating. And Sam Jackson remains horrible in these movies.
  9. I don't know who is a worse person: Anakin or Vader. At least Vader admits he is selfish and hates everyone.
  10. Yay! More "people sitting in a circle/auditorium looking at something."
  11. I'm an hour into this movie, but I should be 30 minute in. So much fluff.
  12. 500th time someone was knocked off a ledge and found a way to dangle off it.
  13. "Execute order 66." I never got that. Is that number supposed to mean something in this galaxy a long time ago and far, far away? Is it the mark of the beast there, too? So, these Jedi can take on 100 robots at once, but when a handful of storm troopers turn on them, they are toast? I like the idea of this, but it's so sloppily done...
    And the over-the-top music tells me I should care, but I don't. :(
  14. Oh, and Anakin kills a bunch of kids. That's incredibly dark shit.
  15. Chewie fighting alongside Yoda is a bit too much. Chewie wouldn't speak up when Han talked shit about "the force" in eps 4-6, doubting it?
  16. Jeeeeeeez, I wish there were women in this movie. Like, more than one who's in love with a psycho and just hangs out in his shadow.
  17. Yoda was take out by a single lightning bolt. Smh. It's all so inconsistent. He was catching Dooku's and throwing them back in episode 2.
  18. "Ok. They are flowing on lava. How do we raise the stakes?" "Why? That's pretty high." "Because we have to." "Lavafall?!" "YES!!" "And... Surfing?" "YESSSSSS!!"
  19. As this all starts coming to an end, I'm so sad I never became sympathetic to these characters and their wants and fears. This climax could have been so effective if the storytelling had been effective. Imagine Han getting frozen in carbonite and just not care? Ugh.
  20. So, the two people know who what the Sith are, know about the force, know the back story and can fight them BOTH go into hiding? Shame on Obi-Wan and Yoda.
  21. Not much to say at the end there outside of... I wish I cared.
  22. I don't know why I did this, but I'm DONE!! On to the lovely Episode 4. Hugs!!