THINGS I THINK WHILE LIFTING

Honestly, going to the gym is hard. Every time I think I can't lift something I just think one of the below thoughts and it helps. Helps a lot.
  1. I am Maximus Decimus Meridius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and loyal servant of the true emperor Marcus Aurelius and I shall have my vengeance in this life or the next.
  2. If you lift this you'll get a raise. You will also have sex on top of the raise. Physically on top of it.
  3. The fate of Rome depends on you lifting this. Do not fuck it up. Rome needs you.
  4. America needs you!
  5. You don't want all your gym teachers to be right. Do you, John? DO YOU?
  6. Santa isn't real until you lift this.
  7. I am Spider-Man and in this pretend lifting world I have to save Mary Jane by lifting this. I am a superhero.
  8. Terry Crews can do this why can't you? Jesus.
  9. Everything you've ever wanted is at the top of this pull-up.
  10. What if your dogs are one day held hostage and the captors will only let them free if you beat them at a lifting contest? PREPARE.