THINGS I THINK WHILE LIFTING
Honestly, going to the gym is hard. Every time I think I can't lift something I just think one of the below thoughts and it helps. Helps a lot.
- •I am Maximus Decimus Meridius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and loyal servant of the true emperor Marcus Aurelius and I shall have my vengeance in this life or the next.
- •If you lift this you'll get a raise. You will also have sex on top of the raise. Physically on top of it.
- •The fate of Rome depends on you lifting this. Do not fuck it up. Rome needs you.
- •America needs you!
- •You don't want all your gym teachers to be right. Do you, John? DO YOU?
- •Santa isn't real until you lift this.
- •I am Spider-Man and in this pretend lifting world I have to save Mary Jane by lifting this. I am a superhero.
- •Terry Crews can do this why can't you? Jesus.
- •Everything you've ever wanted is at the top of this pull-up.
- •What if your dogs are one day held hostage and the captors will only let them free if you beat them at a lifting contest? PREPARE.