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All real. The correct way is John (like John Adams) -Uh-Lee (like Lee Harvey Oswald)
  1. Joe-na-lee
    Most common. I've heard the "H" throws people off but I'm not sure why since everyone can pronounce the name "John."
  2. Jo-Hanna-lee
    Second most common
  3. Jo-Anna-lee
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  1. Hell yeah! Morning suduko!
    Right up there with coffee and shitting when it comes to routines!
  2. Look at all these numbers I can fill in right away. I'm a fucking genius! 😎
  3. I know where all the "1"s go. Can't fool me, Redeye bitches.
    Four stars? Nice try.
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  1. When there is an employee standing nearby
  2. Haha
Thought I'd share in honor of Mother's Day. I bother my mom a lot. She occasionally responds. Here are some recent pics we've exchanged:
  1. Family photo of my uncle and cousins
    Me to Her
  2. "Female man bun"
    Her to Me. Admitting she was wrong and that this IS IN FACT a hair trend
  3. Shot of my dad and I from last May
    Me to Her. Just to be like, "lol why didn't you use birth control?"
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  1. Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride - Lilo and Stitch Soundtrack
    Awiwiki mai lohilohi
  2. Chiquitita - ABBA
  3. Piano Lesson - The Music Man
    Definitely a purely expositional song where a child practices scales. MY JAM
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I saw these movies only once as a very small child. They seem popular lately! People seem to hate eps I-III, so I focus on the orig trilogy. Here is what I can gather from pop culture and my very hazy memory of watching them. Warning! May contain spoilers, but only if you live under a rock.
  1. There's the main crew
    I know their proper names. So do you. Moving on.
  2. Luke's Aunt and Uncle die
    Later, so does Obi-Wan. Luke seems unphased.
  3. Darth Vader is #1 baddy
    Voldemort of Star Wars. Mufasa.
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No particular order. You see, in reality, I am not cool.
  1. Mommie Dearest
    YAS, Faye Dunaway, YAS. I am so sorry this movie destroyed your career because I love it oh so much. The soulless bitch inside me relishes the bizarre mental abuse Crawford wreaks on her children. This campy, based-on-a-true-story flick contains my dream monologue. That's right: No Wire Hangers.
  2. First Wives' Club
    Jlee, you love strong female characters? Especially the middle-aged ones? You will watch anything starring Bette Midler? You once learned the entire dance from the final scene? Yes, my little listers, it's all true.
  3. Role Models
    Most underrated comedy of the last decade. Antman and Stifler kill in this film about two besties who are court-ordered to volunteer as mentors. Jane Lynch is impeccable as always, and the soundtrack includes nectar like Kiss's "Love Gun" and a fake Wings song (sorry Sir Paul McCartney). Also features hotties like Elizabeth Banks and Ken Jeong. True fav.
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What I tell people my favorite movies are so that I seem cool
  1. Jaws
    So badass. Shark! Richard Dreyfuss! Stephen Spielberg! Effects! 1970s! Lack of the affair which was a huge part of the novel upon which this movie was based!
  2. The Shining
    Well, liking artful horror movies like this one by Stanley Kubrick tends to give you some street cred in the creative crowd. Liking Stephen King gives you street cred in other crowds. Win-win.
  3. Kill Bill
    I really hate this movie. It's excessively violent to the point where I'm physically ill when I try to watch it all the way through. The plot is weird and I'm really not that into martial arts/Asian culture, and if I were, I would definitely not appreciate the main badass character being played by ultra-Caucasian Uma Thurman. This is the biggest lie on my list.
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I'm gonna say 3/4 or so of these I continued to eat until my late teens
  1. Elmer's glue balls (rolled by yours truly)
  2. Boogers (obviously, but won't reveal what age that stopped)
  3. Barbie shoes
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This guy though...
  1. Fallon Cady
  2. Impressions
  3. Radiolab
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