My Un/realistic Perfect Day

"Today was a good day." - #IceCube
  1. 1.
    I wake up mid wet dream and have an intense orgasm.
    I've got the day made already.
  2. 2.
    #Slashfilm has rated my recent film one of the "top 5 underrated wonderful films of 2015 that you should see"
    Morning glory.
  3. 3.
    UberX randomly selected a customer to get chauffeured for free all day long. That customer be ME!
    I'd like to thank the Academy...
  4. 4.
    I have French Toast, Bacon, eggs with strawberries and OJ.
    There is a heaven.
  5. 5.
    My UberX driver is Dante, a bully from my grade school.
    Driving Mr. Hobbs
  6. 6.
    Every woman I see is 100% attracted to me. And I am 100% wildly uninterested to every single one of them.
    From my mouth to God's answering service.
  7. 7.
    I go to the movies by myself to see and movie hop three great movies while eating an unlimited kids pack!
    Equal to #1
  8. 8.
    Free. Yogurt. Land.
    I've seen the mountain top.
  9. 9.
    Donald Trump has called off his Presidential Race but will still give us daily asshole rants from the Looney Bin.
    #TrumpFix
  10. 10.
    Sale at Target ANNNND IKEA
    And the "As is" section is all free. Glory be to God.
  11. 11.
    I have a random spontaneous walking orgasm every 90 mins. Like clockwork.
    Life of Riley.
  12. 12.
    My debt has been wiped clean.
    Breath easy.
  13. 13.
    Vince Gilligan calls. He wants me to direct the 1st episode of the return of "Breaking Bad" because he liked my film that #Slashfilm posted.
    Life is beautiful.
  14. 14.
    I trend on #TheListApp
    Life is a bowl of cherries.
  15. 15.
    The LA Parking Authority has made a mistaken in there records and I get a refund on allllll of my tickets from 2006-2013
    Won't He do it.
  16. 16.
    I dance with #TheRootsBand
    Copasetic
  17. 17.
    It snows in #LosAngeles
    Christmas come early.
  18. 18.
    Shotgun with Larry David.
  19. 19.
    Michael J Fox hands me 1 of the first 50 hoverboards ever made.
    "Have you seen my childhood." - MJ
  20. 20.
    90mins
    #orgasm
  21. 21.
    I have a drink with Sidney Poitier and Denzel Washington.
    #KingsCourt
  22. 22.
    101 Cafe in Hollywood With my nerd friends talking about TV and movies.
    And to all a good night.