HARMLESS UNTRUTHS I'VE TOLD MY 3 YEAR OLD

These are little things that will help her tell interesting stories when she's 20.
  1. Our fish (Dirk) doesn't speak English, so we have to talk to him in Spanish (which we don't know) so just wing it and he will love you for trying.
  2. Lil Wayne's mouth is shiny/metal because he put coins in his mouth once and his teeth were never the same.
  3. Julia Roberts is the only person who has been alive "since Jesus time" and was in the first movie ever, with Jesus.
  4. The bald walrus-looking guy on TV is "Dr. Feel"
  5. Santa Claus totally does all those great things on Christmas, but for 11 months out of the year his real name is Travis.