Questions I Have for the Male Species - a Response
- •What's it like to have a penis? Does it get caught places?To me this is like asking what it's like to have two arms. I don't know, I just have them. It would be pretty strange to have three and unfortunate to only have one. It is true, though, that when I am not "under the influence" of my buddy downstairs, I'm better able to focus on things other than sex. Re getting caught: it's more like accidentally getting knocked or squeezed followed by a couple seconds of terror as you wait for the inevitable crippling pain to kick in.
- •Do you worry about aging and becoming obsolete too?Of course I do. Everyone does. I just turned 40 yesterday which I don't even want to think about. I have to look up slang on Wikipedia to understand what the kids are talking about. Which is not to say it's the same for men and women because men don't have to deal with similar biological clocks ticking or the deplorable way older women are treated compared to older men.
- •Do you think about your masculinity a lot?I used to think about it all the time. I don't like watching sports or playing football on Thanksgiving, and I can never remember how to play poker. So, you know, not very manly by US standards. Today I think about it more in the context of what it means to be a good dad.
- •Do you have less emotional noise? Or do you simply not check in with it?Um, none of the above? I was a mildly depressed kid (figured this out much later) who self-medicated with weed in high school and a philosophy major in college. Lots of passionate ups and downs my whole life. Today things are on a more even keel thanks to age, experience, and a nice little dose of citalopram.
- •Does feminism scare you? If so,why?What scares me is how often I meet women who aren't feminists. Or who say they are, but then spout unbelievably retrograde ideas about gender roles.
- •How do you suggest women support each other better like bros seem to be able to do?Pretty loaded question. I think there are good and bad examples on both sides of the aisle. I think this is more about what it means to be a real friend, vs a mere acquaintance or frenemy or total stranger.
- •What about intimacy is so scary?Nothing. But you have to be pretty secure and willing to take a big emotional risk in order to make yourself totally vulnerable. You're putting your heart on a cutting board and offering the other person a knife while hoping they don't use it. (Unless by "intimacy" you meant "boning," in which case the only thing scary to a dude is not being good at it.)