OUT OF OFFICE REPLIES (I WISH I COULD USE)

  1. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  2. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
  3. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
  4. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Judy' instead of Dan.
  5. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 15 weeks.
  6. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from my holiday. Please be patient and your email will be deleted in the order it was received.