BREAKUP CURES

Thanks @mkz for thinking of me
  1. 1.
    Tons of porno. Cumpilations work best.
  2. 2.
    Definitely get a dog. Adopt don't shop and cultivate a great adoption story. Get the smallest dog or the largest you want to be memorable. You need a distraction and dog parks are nightclubs. If you foster to adopt you can test drive the dog you need a dog park winner not a nervous wreck.
  3. 3.
    Lift weights like your life depends on it. Nothing is more important. Old school, compound movements. Check out stronglifts.com for the 5x5 protocol. Get a weightlifting buddy, the older the better. Don't stop until people yell at you to take your shirt off at a Vegas pool party.
  4. 4.
    Go to Oliver peoples or similar (not the sunglasses hut) and get professionally fitted for sunglasses. Price is no object even if you have to borrow the money.
  5. 5.
    Get outside for exercise and not just hiking. Try tennis. Take group tennis lessons.
  6. 6.
    Get a pair of am radio headphones, leave your phone in your car, and listen to every single pitch of every dodger game while walking the Venice Boardwalk with your shirt off. Live and die with every pitch and never miss a game even if it costs you your job.
  7. 7.
    Learn to be amused by your negative thoughts and imagine them being little bubbles that you pop with a pin. Also get way into breathing techniques until you're an expert on them.
  8. 8.
    Or forget all this stuff and realize that most likely the reason the relationship fizzled out has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and it's an absolute blessing because it means you're now single and open to meeting a better match....there's a train leaving every three minutes.