JUST SOME REALTOR JARGON NO ONE ASKED ME FOR CUZ I LIKE MAKING ALL SORTS OF LISTS
Just some things realtors say that when they talk to you will think you know what they're saying because maybe they've been in the game too long?
- •A house for sale that's not officially on the market. "I got a hot pocket up in the hills I can show you". I'm definitely gonna write another list just on pockets when I get bored of writing jokes on here or maybe I'll wait for the next licensed realtor up on this bish to do it.
- •GreenbeltCanyon views
- •flipperA house that you can buy, do a cosmetic remodel on, and then put back on the market and make money on in exchange for all your vision and sweat equity. And real equity. If you get lucky you can make a nice score. It's also an easy way to lose all your money and have to move back in with your parents.
- •A "bubbe"This one is my own personal name for a perfect flipper because the best ones are always a house that a fabulous Jewish grandma just died peacefully in. "I found a perfect little bubbe just east of Robertson you're gonna kill this one but you have about two hours to make up your mind on it or someone else is gonna get it". That's about how it is I'm probably gonna say something just like this to someone tomorrow.
- •On specA house that a corporation (which could be one person or a huge team) builds from the ground up for the intention of selling. They buy a house, knock it down, pick out a bunch of neutral colors (at the high end they just copy sandy Gallins vibe from twenty years ago), and put the new house back on the market and hopefully make a lot of money. They also might lose a lot of money and also might have to move in with their parents.
- •Yes, I've moved in with my parentsJk
- •StagedVery hard to sell a house without furniture in there (list?)--so you stage it. An interior decorator will stage every room in the house right down to books on the shelves so when a new buyer walks in the vibe is set. By the way some stagers make a lot of moolah and they're not even that great at it.
- •See you in escrowA thing that lots of agents still say. Including me.
- •Hope it makesThis is what you say to other agents who just walked into your office to tell you all about the big deal they just put into escrow.
- •Okay going to bed nowI'm going to bed now