1. The Invisible Man
    Static
    Just to be able to disappear in a literal sense, to match the metaphorical ways I try to disappear.
  2. Alicorn
    Static
    Just an awesome thing to be.
  3. Wolverine
    Giphy
  4. A 100% Un-problematic Politician.
    The most unrealistic of all my choices here.
  5. Bridge Troll
    Static
    I would be a chill bridge troll. Instead of asking travelers riddles in order to pass I'd just ask them about where they are coming from and where they are headed. Then bombard them with whatever useless information I have that is tangentially related to their journey until they leave.