1. A job.
    Been out of work since the beginning of March. Lots of chaos in my personal life since then has made it even more difficult than normal to find new employment. I'm at breaking point. Everything else on this list would be made more attainable after securing a job and the income & purpose it provides.
  2. Mental health access
    I can't afford meds or counseling right now and have not had any success in finding aid through local community resources.
  3. A break from my own mind and the dark corners of it.
    Again work and mental health treatment would each provide some relief.
  4. A long, raw conversation with my soon to be ex-wife.
    It would go a long way to helping with whatever eventual closure I might be able to reach. Right now we are not talking or communicating at all. I don't even know when she plans on going to court to finalize the divorce. I just need to know where I stand and need to get some things off my chest before I stuff before it eats me alive.
  5. A recommitment to discipline regarding my physical health.
    Goes hand in hand with mental health, but I need to eat better and exercise more consistently. I'm not getting any younger and the many genetic predispositions I have to medical problems are only going to loom larger as I age.
  6. My friends and family to stop waiting for me to reach out to them.
    My support structure is not the best, but I need the people in my life who claim to love and care about me to step up and start being present in my life and my recovery. I feel like the silence and avoidance makes me feel more like a pariah and that I should keep everything I'm going through to myself. I don't need platitudes or tough love, I just need to know that I matter.