MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE

  1. Starting every sentence with "when you"
  2. Starting every other sentence with "isn't it so weird that"
  3. Analyzing the shit out of people
  4. Being wrong about my analyses of said people
  5. Dancing like an especially uncoordinated toddler
  6. Singing like a wounded animal
  7. Keeping alcohol in my stomach
  8. Losing sunglasses
  9. Breaking sunglasses
  10. Wearing black
  11. Remembering my dreams
  12. Wasting 90% of my money on food and clothes
    Ugh my wallet's not proud of this one
  13. Smelling every candle in the entire store
  14. Messing up pancakes whilst trying very hard to not mess them up
  15. Getting lost