Study this list, ladies (or don't because you are your own person and who am I to tell you what to do?)
  1. Sense of humor
    If you don't love The Office, I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. If you loved The Office, you would get this.
  2. A great smile
    And dimples
  3. Lives on the east side of LA
    The valley is also acceptable.
  4. Went to sleep away camp growing up
    If you also worked there in college, marry me.
  5. Is a dog person
    Let's face it, cats are kinda dicks.
  6. Allows me to open doors for her
    I refuse to let chivalry die.
  7. Punctuality
    Dang, girl. I love it how you be respecting the time of others and stuff.
  8. Jewish
    I don't discriminate, but it will make it easier for my mom (and sisters) to fall in love with you.