The Struggles of Being An Introvert

  1. getting stuck next to an extrovert on an airplane
    being an introvert, sitting close to strangers is already a big step in my awkward intake for the day. but put me next to an extrovert, who wants to talk to me the whole time, and there's literally no way i can just get up and leave? this is what waterboarding probably feels like
  2. when the announcer chooses you as a random person from the audience
    dude, it already took me a lot of energy and negotiation to get to wherever i am, and now you want me to talk in front of all these people and get on stage with you? this is why i don't leave my room
  3. parties
    i love having a good time! except usually a good time for me is snuggling up in bed reading a book or watching netflix where i do not have to force small talk or be uncomfortable throughout my night!
  4. lying to get out of plans you already made
    you don't want to be rude and deny the invitation, and maybe part of me actually wanted to go! but then fast forward to the day of the event, and my social intake for the past few days might already be at it's max, and i need time to re cooperate all that energy
  5. ~icebreakers~
    unless i know this group of people really well, there's a good chance i will be the girl in the corner pretending to talk to her mom on the phone when it comes to your silly icebreaker
  6. when people think that you come off as pretentious if you don't want to do something
    look, i don't think i'm better than this event, i just think i haven't spent enough time alone in my room this week and masterchef junior is probably on
  7. when people think you're shy
    hunny, i have stood at the top of my school building and screamed the word "cunt" to a group of pedestrians walking to class. i am not afraid to do whatever you're trying to get me to do, i probably just don't want to do it.
  8. when people think you're lazy
    bish, i work my motherfucking ass off in whatever i put my mind to every damn day, so excuse me if i need my personal space more than the average human being
  9. when the pizza delivery is call in only instead of online ordering
    it's 2017 why do i have to force myself to awkwardly talk to a human being over the phone in order to get some goddamn pepperoni rolls