5 things I imagine the people in line w me at Starbucks are thinking.

  1. Should have just asked for Starbucks for Xmas.
  2. Should have just asked for Starbucks and silence for Xmas
  3. Starbucks is the highlight of my Xmas: I either need way more meth or way less.
  4. I'm too embarrassed to admit I still don't understand the sizes.
  5. Maybe if I put rat bait in my pumpkin spice fuck my life...