- •Every girl in LA is a lawyer or a hairstylist
- •Donning a silicone horse's head is an acceptable substitute for a personality.
- •Whiskey is the most feminine beverage. All girls love whiskey.
- •I must love dogs. And cats. And kids. And tacos.
- •Men must get really turned on by women with finger mustaches because every girl is showing that shit.
- •Actors never get laid.