- 1.Every girl in LA is a lawyer or a hairstylist
- 2.Donning a silicone horse's head is an acceptable substitute for a personality.
- 3.Whiskey is the most feminine beverage. All girls love whiskey.
- 4.I must love dogs. And cats. And kids. And tacos.
- 5.Men must get really turned on by women with finger mustaches because every girl is showing that shit.
- 6.Actors never get laid.