THINGS THAT GIVE ME ANXIETY

Sometimes I wish I was kidding....
  1. Street parking
    What if I can't find a spot? What if I'm late because I can't find a spot? What if something bad happens because I'm late because I couldn't find a spot? I'll just Uber, I guess.
  2. Making left turns on busy streets
    I love you, Waze, but this shit needs to stop.
  3. Being the first car at a stoplight
    Seems irrational, sure, but I've never been the leader of the pack and I don't see why I should start on Sunset and Doheny.
  4. Public speaking
    Can't do it, sorry. I can speak on camera, do a radio show, whatever but if there's a crowd of more than 5 people? No way.
  5. Introducing myself to people
    Ever since I met Chris Matthews as a kid and he thought I said my name was Jordan River, I've hated introductions.
  6. Ordering food at a place where you order at the counter
    LOOKING AT YOU PANERA 👀
  7. First dates
    I think this is pretty universal but still, the 20 minutes leading up to the date mostly consist of me trying to figure out the best way to cancel.
  8. Second dates
    Okay, so we like each other enough to hang out again. Should be easy right? Nope! Not in my brain!
  9. All dates, really
    Yeah, I just should stay single maybe.
  10. When people ask questions about my tattoos
    What if my descriptions aren't convincing? What if I sound like a poser? Or a try hard?
  11. Ordering drinks at a bar I've never been to
    This sounds dumb but it's why I always order a whisky sour. I'm too chicken shit to order anything else. Whatever.