Inanimate Objects in My Kitchen Ranked by Personality

My blender seems like kind of an asshole
  1. 1.
    Old-school lemonade dispenser
    I know you belong to my roommate, but you seem like a truly chill guy. Laid back and classic and here to make sure everyone has a good time.
  2. 2.
    Knife block
    You know when a situation requires getting to the point and staying organized and I appreciate that when things get messy. Also A+ for my Excalibur sword in the stone fantasy before I cut vegetables
  3. 3.
    Dying basil plant
    We leave you too close to the window and don't water you enough. You are depressing but it's my fault so this is a pity slot
  4. 4.
    "Smitten Kitchen Cookbook"
    Cheeky bitch. You think you're hot shit and have a super flirty font. I've never cooked anything from you because you belong to my roommate/seem really put together and intimidating
  5. 5.
    Sponge
    I 100% think using you to wash dishes only makes them dirtier. The green side isn't really hard anymore, but the yellow side isn't really soft either. You definitely need to be replaced, but I never remember you when I'm at CVS. Not a fan of your work