Things I need to say but can't tell anyone (because no one will ever read this)

I do have friends I can say everything to, but sometimes it's complicated...
  1. One of my best friend snapchatted me
    Not a big deal, I know. But it's the fact that while he lives three doors from mine, we barely see each other since we graduated from high school 3 years ago. And today he saw me outside while he was driving by my house, he honked at me and a few hours later he snapchatted me saying he wanted to hang out. The thing is tho, he broke up with his 5 years girlfriend which also happens to be my friend. Now, you might be thinking something along the lines of ooh she loves him she wants to ask him out.
  2. But no, I've never seen him that way and he's the only real platonic friendship with a guy I've ever had and I don't want to break that.
    It's just a very comforting thought that he still wants to hang out with me (and the boys, because yes, that's the kind of relationship I have with him: I can hang out with the boys too). Life is great✌🏻
  3. I thought my sister was going to kill herself the other day
    She finally answered my 376th phone call, I picked her up on the side of the road and we talked for hours at our beach house
  4. On the same day as ^, my father told us he thought our mother was going to divorce him.
    Easy to say it was the second worst day of my life. Another best friend of mine let me sleep at his appartment because I didn't want to sleep at my house. (They didn't get a divorce after all).
  5. I miss being in love
    I can't remember what it feels like.
  6. Everybody think I'm the most daring, reckless and boldest person they've ever met... but the truth is I'm a coward who tries to prove she's tough while she's crumbling inside
    Mostly because I can't tell anyone that I like them or that I have feelings whatsoever so I have not ruined one, but three possible relationship because I'M A FUCKING COWARD.