Things My 5-year-old Son Has Said Recently

Doing this because @SaraKippur is determined to stay a lurker on this thing.
  1. 1.
    Angrily: "If you don't listen to me, I'm... I'm... I'm going to smoke a cigarette!"
  2. 2.
    Singing: "You are nothing but a hound-dog, crying all the time / You have never caught a rabbit, and you are no friend of mine."
  3. 3.
    Angrily: "If you don't listen to me, I'm... I'm... I'm going to report you to the news!"