Stephen King's Morning Routine
- •Thanks God he's not Dean Koontz.
- •Gets out of bed
- •Looks in mirror to double check that he didn't become Dean Koontz
- •Uses the bathroom while humming the MASH theme song
- •Does not wash his hands because he's the master of horror and he lives dangerously
- •Calls Dean Koontz on his way downstairs and asks him if his fridge is running. Dean threatens to get a restraining order and Stephen tells him to call Nicholas Sparks and cry about it.
- •Hangs up phone and plans for his afternoon Dean Koontz prank phone call.
- •Uses the bathroom again because he has bladder issues.