YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRUNK WHEN

  1. it's fun to walk
  2. you get a moment of clarity
  3. you don't need a jacket on a cold day
  4. the music in the bar suddenly gets real loud
  5. because the music appears to be loud you feel the need to speak a lot LOUDER
  6. dancing seems to be a good idea... for a white guy
  7. a foreign language seems easier
  8. you don't recognize yourself in the mirror
  9. food tastes LOUDER or just better
  10. you always have a "one up story"
  11. jumping off the roof into a pool seems like a brilliant idea
  12. your face gets hot
  13. breakfast burritos look like nectar of the gods
  14. you get a million dollar idea
  15. you forget to write it down
  16. you laugh at your own joke
  17. sexting seems like a good idea
  18. you commentate porn
  19. you crave a smoke
  20. smoking seems like a good idea
  21. you bum a smoke
  22. you give up your last smoke
  23. you drunk dial your boss
  24. you drunk dial your boss' spouse
  25. you tell your best friend you love them
  26. walking to the beach seems like a great idea...from South Dakota
  27. watching Mad Dog Glory doesn't suck
  28. you break out your G.I. Joes and/or Legos
  29. you plan to go to Denny's
  30. Craig Kilborn is funny
  31. you've figured out the meaning of Life
  32. you can't feel your legs
  33. you are unable to pronounce words like substantiate, circumstances or statistics