I'm a monster.
  1. In second grade, my family won a bucket of 100 beanie babies. I was the beanie baby queen and everyone wanted to be me.
    Eventually, I ruined them all and we donated them to GoodWill. Why were we so shortsighted? My friend offered me $42 for a beautiful koala named Eucalyptus. She was 8, how did she have that much money? Why didn't I take it?
  2. I also ruined a beautiful, vintage Barbie that a nice collector lady gave to me after she won it and I cried.
    Why did I have to play so hard?!