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  1. "Think of it not so much as you just got punched in the face, and more like you were in a bar fight. That's waaaay more bad ass."
  2. "You're such a fucking bitch sometimes!"
    Jay walking when there weren't any cars
  3. "Maybe you shouldn't drink red...we like this carpet."
6 more...
  1. Colloquial
  2. Scathing
  3. Substantial
6 more...
  1. Who's lost weight and who hasn't.
  2. The legalization of marijuana.
  3. Justin Trudeau.
12 more...
Because certain falsities just make sense.
  1. Liposuction can be done at home safely and with no training.
    Sucking fat out with a syringe cannot be THAT difficult.
  2. If you order non fat milk + whip cream on your latte, the two cancel each other out.
    Basic math!
  3. You can carbonate anything.
    Carbonated apple slices are just healthy pop rocks.
3 more...
Because 2016 is the year of the monkey, the most adaptable animal in all of history
  1. People who throw out half full beverages in a plastic garbage.
    The swamp water of expired milk, coffee, frappaccino, juice, and napkins is the most unsavoury of odours.
  2. People who use the word, "rape" for anything other than its actual meaning.
    No, you didn't just "rape" that test you piece of shit.
  3. Kylie Jenner.
    I was going to say Amanda Bynes, but KJ needs so much more work.
6 more...
When Harry and Sally met every colourful character on the east coast.
  1. The waitress in the first diner scene
    She doesn't have any time for Sally's entitled dessert order. Whip cream only if it's not from a can? Please.
  2. The one talking head wife who married Ben Small, of the Coney Island Smalls.
    "At that moment I knew. I knew like you know about a good melon."
  3. Marie.
    I am OBSESSED with Marie. She is barely a secondary character. Honestly, I would fund the the prequel to the ending of WHMS; when Jess met Marie. Carrie Fisher is a damn Bae.
3 more...
Because Tim Curry whispering 50 Shades of Grey into my ear is the best idea I've ever had.
  1. Richard Dryfus
  2. Who ever voices the character of Max Goof
  3. Kevin Bacon
6 more...