Requested by Rusty

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED

Aka: ridiculous stats I had to adhere to as a personal lender in a call centre (I'm assuming this is what you are requesting @reconditioner?)
  1. When a customer would call the personal lending phone number, they would be presented with array of choices.
    Press 1 for a new application, press 2 to find out about the progress of an existing application, press 3 for an enquiry on your existing loan, and press 4 for any other enquiry. Yep. Still remember it. Ahh, the memories.
  2. Depending on what option the customer would press, the call be routed to to the appropriate team.
  3. Say, for example, you were calling about your existing loan but you didn't want to listen to all the options to find out that 3 was your button to press. So you just press 1. Who cares, right?
  4. The call would go through to the team responsible for new lending. Which is the wrong team.
    Generally, I'm a savvy gal and can still help you with your enquiry. I know how to look up your loan in the antiquated computer systems and god forbid I transfer the call to the correct area and incur The Wrath. However...
  5. For all the calls received on the option 1 line (aka new applications), the lender had to try to convert these to an application.
    But how can I do that when you've already got a loan? And why would I want to?
  6. But still, a certain percentage of calls had to be converted to applications. At one point the percentage ranged from between 60-75% of calls received.
    It also didn't help that if a branch was calling to speak to someone in lending they would also just press option 1. They didn't care either. But whatever.
  7. And on those applications that were submitted, on at least 60% of them we had to convince the customer to take loan protection (insurance to cover loan repayments in the event of job loss, etc.).
  8. And while on these calls, we had a stat known at Average Handling Time (AHT).
    This is where we had to limit the average time we spent on each call to a specific length of time. This was measured down to the second. I just loved it when I got a joint loan application and I could blow out my AHT on the one call.
  9. And then there's ACW, otherwise known as After Call Work.
    If we had to complete any paperwork after the call or add notes to anything, we had to complete it in less time that it takes to pee. Also measured down to the second.
  10. Speaking of peeing, if you need to pee, make sure you log out of your phone using the correct code. They measure that too.
    I'm serious.
  11. In addition to these stats, there were sales targets that we had to meet.
    A certain number of accounts to open, insurance leads, financial planning leads, etc.
  12. All while still spending as little time as possible with the customer.
    From a business perspective this makes sense, but try explaining that to the customer when you're speaking 2x the normal speed humans talk at.
  13. Oh, and our calls were recorded and analyzed and we'd receive a grade for that too.
    But eventually I worked my way into this position. Which was much better!!
  14. I hope this has entertained you @reconditioner - have a great day!! 😊