1. Some time ago, I wrote a list about why I struggle with the decision of whether or not to go to certain reunions.
    This was that list: REUNIONS: TO GO OR NOT TO GO
  2. Very often I come away from catching up with some people feeling worse about myself, and I wonder why I bothered to make the effort.
  3. Last Friday night, my old work team had a reunion. They went to dinner at 'our' restaurant.
  4. I was invited. As was the whole team.
  5. I always feel like I should go. I don't know why.
    There are a couple of other people who never go. It's not like it's compulsory.
  6. Only this time, I didn't.
  7. I thanked them for the invite and told them I couldn't make it.
    I gave no reason or excuse for my non-attendance. And they never asked me.
  8. And you know what happened?
  9. Nothing. They quite honestly couldn't have given a shit if I turned up or not.
  10. Now that previous point might sound like I'm being negative. But I'm actually not.
  11. You see, I have realized (over time) that these people that I've spent so much time trying to fit in with really don't care very much about me at all.
    In fact, they were probably relieved they didn't have to make small talk with me.
  12. Sure, initially I was a little disappointed that they didn't even try to convince me to show up. But I got over that pretty quick.
    Plus I had a very enjoyable evening where I went to bed early with a glass of wine and a book.
  13. Now I feel great. It feels like I've broken some kind of outdated bond that was tying me to these people.
    And all it took was one 'no'.
  14. It's kinda like constantly hooking up with an ex who you get along with but don't really connect with on a deeper level. And each time you hook up you say to yourself that this is the last time. Then finally you have a revelation that this ex is bad news and you ditch them for good.
    Just to be clear, there are no actual exes of mine in this group of people.
  15. Now in the future, I don't have to worry about what to say the next time they have a reunion dinner.
  16. I think I've established that I won't be going.
  17. 😊